Twinkle Toes

Do you ever think of all the phrases that go with the word toe? Tip toe, twinkle toes, toe the line, whoops wrong tow, nails and toes (I so need a mani/pedi right now!)  Our feet are our foundation, the gift that carries us one step in front of the other.  One of those crazy things in our lives we often give not one thought to, unless we’ve danced all night in high heels, or stood all day doing something.  No, we take our feet for granted.

I started thinking about my feet in the last couple of months.  How in yoga in even the simplest of poses, your feet are anchored to the ground and are the core of mountain, tree, and warrior.  The root that extends up and through your body, out through your extended arms and hands.  Oh and lovely ballet, all five positions are about your feet.  Being purposeful as you slide from first, to second, inward, outward, inward again.  Beautiful.  I still have my toe shoes from high school.  They are up in some box in my attic.  Not sure why I still have them, but I love the idea and memory of being on stage, dancing to my heart’s content.

Toes, feet, toes.  Back to the blog.  Cancer and my feet have a new relationship now.  A painful one.  Tamoxifen had it’s own side effects and risks.  Night sweats and uterine cancer—that was a scare last year—it sucked.  Now Letrozole.  No uterine cancer risks and wait for it, drum roll, it has an impact on your joints and bones.  Yay!  One of my dear friends, another survivor gets pains in her arms and shoulders.  Me, you guessed it, my feet.  One of those dumb things I never appreciated until now.  Every morning my poor little size 8.5’s hurt.  I get up and walk carefully on them, holding the bannister as I go downstairs, because they HURT.  When I remember, I give them a good stretch back and forth before getting out of bed and that helps a bit.

So I talked to Dr. D, my oncologist and told her about my toes and feet.  I describe how it goes away after I walk around some, only to come back the next morning.  She said, “Can you live with it?”  Of course I can.

And so I do.  Life after cancer has lots of little reminders that encourage me to truly appreciate my health.  The fact I am cancer free in 2016. To really feel parts of my body I had taken for granted.  I am blessed.  My feet take me lots of places.  I walk, I run; I still do plié’s and releves every day.  I treasure one more gift in my life.

And yes, cancer does that.  What do you savor just a little bit more now?  Tell me.

Posted on May 17, 2016 .